


Eavesdropping is Rude

by WereDonkey



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: I know the title is terrible I tried, M/M, Mind Reading, horrible embarrassment caused by mind reading, mostly it's just stiles rambling to himself in his head, pizza because pizza is awesome, so's the summary if I'm being honest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-20
Updated: 2014-09-20
Packaged: 2018-02-18 02:48:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,006
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2332496
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WereDonkey/pseuds/WereDonkey
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pack night's are boring when the movies are terrible so Stiles lets his mind wander. Little does he know, someone's listening in. This could lead to disaster... Or not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eavesdropping is Rude

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by a tumblr post:  
> metaphoricalanchor:  
> AU prompt: Person A is thinking sexually graphic or generally odd thoughts and suddenly panics and thinks “If you’re a mind reader, cough right now.”  
> Person B coughs.
> 
> this has been sitting in my 'get around to it one day' folder for ages with about 10 words but I didn't want to do my homework so here we are, written in one weekend

 Pack meetings are boring. Well, not always. When there’s some new supernatural catastrophe wrecking havoc on the town, _those_ meetings are interesting. Mostly because they’re trying to figure out how to, you know, _not_ _die_. But when the rare week comes along _without_ some kind of shit-storm they still end up having their usual pack get-togethers at Derek’s loft and they. Are. So. Dull. Nothing happens like ever.

This week it’s been so quiet, quieter even than the usual quiet. Stiles thought there would have been at least _a little_ fallout from last week’s witch fiasco. But no. Instead they just sit around eating pizza and watch a movie. Generally Stiles isn’t opposed to this kind of thing but when week after week the movie is chosen by Lydia? Yeah, no, not so much.

Don’t get him wrong, Stiles loves Lydia, he does. Once he got over his infatuation and actually got to know _her_ they became fast friends. They’re close, science bros and stuff. But her taste in movies? Nuh uh, Stiles is not down for that. This is at least the third time they’ve watched this one now. Stiles thinks he can actually quote bits of it. But apparently “it’s a classic, you _can’t_ watch it too much.” So here they are.

Stiles lets his head flop back against the head rest of the couch and stares up at the roof with a sigh. There’s not even any good conversation because Lydia and Erica are always intent on the movie of the week, and Jackson’s always pretending to not be engrossed too even though he is. Allison and Scott are always caught up in themselves, though Stiles can’t fault them for that considering they don’t actually get much time to hang out without also running for their lives. Boyd and Isaac tend to be having wolf-bro-time which Stiles doesn’t really like to join in on because it tends to end in bruises that he just doesn’t want to explain to his dad.

And that just leaves Derek and Stiles himself. Which, yeah they’re friends, they banter and squabble, but Stiles just doesn’t want to have to address certain things that come up when he’s got one-on-one time with Derek. Things like _feelings_. Stiles likes to avoid that shit.

And anyway, Derek’s on the other side of the room, sitting between Lydia and Erica on the other couch. His face is completely impassive, eyes on the TV. He looks for all the world like he’s actually watching this god-awful film. Which, maybe he is. Stiles doesn’t know what movies he likes, maybe he’s a closet romantic sap. Wouldn’t that just be adorable.

Stiles sighs louder this time and flops his arms about. He’s getting restless again; his brain can only handle so much stillness. So he lets it wander where it will. Sometimes it’s easier just to follow it down whatever convoluted path it wants to take. And in any case, wherever he ends up, it’ll damn sure be more interesting that this movie.

It’s not ‘til Derek glances at him that he realises he’s been staring far too long. He quickly shifts his gaze to the TV. And then the ceiling again, god he can just _feel_ his brain cells dying. Stiles is gonna insist, next time _he_ picks the movie. Something good. Or literally anything but this.

Derek makes a huffy noise but he’s looking at the TV again. Stiles doesn’t understand how anything in this movie could have made him laugh, but to each their own he supposes. God people have weird tastes. Like that one dude in Stiles’ lit class that always has peanut butter and ketchup sandwiches. Like, what the hell, if there is anything that should be classified as an unholy union, it’s that.

Derek’s frowning a little now, he looks confused. Maybe he’s beginning to realise the travesty that is this film. His brow is only furrowed ever so slightly but with his massive-ass eyebrows it’s hard not to notice the slightest changes in his face. He has very expressive eyebrows. It’s a wonder he can ever get his point across when they disappear to make way for his wolf-brow.

Derek’s eyes have narrowed and he’s kinda glaring at the TV now. Stiles is glad. Finally, someone else has realised just how much this film is a violation of all that is good and just in this world. Lydia has to have violated at least some basic human rights by inflicting this on them. He glares at it too. Maybe if they both glare hard enough the TV will spontaneously combust and they’ll all be saved from seeing the end of it. Derek can get a new TV. Stiles’ll even buy him one himself if only they don’t have to watch this chick cry in the rain one more time.

There’s a loud snort from the other couch and then a double slap. Stiles glances over just in time for Derek to make an apologetic face at Lydia and for Erica to redirect her glare away from Derek. See, even Derek thinks the rain is too much.

Lydia turns her death-glare on Stiles as he sighs long and loud. He gives her a sheepish look but rolls his eyes at the back of her head once she turns around. She doesn't scare him anymore. He doesn’t think he can take much more of the heart-wrenching confessions from Generic Leading Man though so he gets up in search of stray pizza.

It’s a futile expedition, he knows. Every last piece will have been sniffed out and wolfed down by the wolves. Wait, pun not intended but... Stiles is ashamed of himself. All these opportunities for puns and he’s wasted them. He makes a vow: never again will he miss another pun. He will make all the puns, he will the pun king. The pun-y-est.

He laughs to himself. That was terrible.

There’s no pizza. Not on the table or in the kitchen or in the fridge. Stiles understands that they’re werewolves and their supernatural abilities require a lot more sustenance but seriously, the puny humans need food too. He decides to see what Derek has that can be cultivated into something edible.

He’s not banging the cupboards _on purpose_ (much) but there’s still a shout from Erica to ‘shut the hell up or I’ll rip out your spleen’. Pleasant. He’s so glad these are his friends. He comes back to the couch flopping back into his seat with his cheese and bread concoction. It's not really a sandwich but it tries to be.

Leading Man is sopping wet on the TV, white shirt practically see-through and clinging to his muscles. Stiles isn’t even impressed. He’s seen better, better is sitting all around him _right now_. Erica is probably stronger than this douche. Hell, even _Jackson_ ’s abbs are nicer. But by far, the wolf with the best muscles is Derek. He wonders if it has something to do with being a born wolf. Stiles wouldn’t mind getting better acquainted with those muscles...

Shit now he’s thinking about Derek’s abbs, change the subject, _change the subject_.

There’s a soft chocking noise from the others side of the room but he’s too distracted to look over.

This is the shitty thing about 70% of your friends being werewolves: they _smell things_. Embarrassing things. He’s so glad there aren’t any telepaths. Although...

Stiles has a lot of things he worries about. He’s a worrier, it’s his thing. It kind of comes with the whole running-with-werewolves territory. Mostly his fears are justified, stuff like being killed by harpies or mauled by a were-something-or-other or drowned by mermaids (last week had been just too close a call). Granted they weren’t _ordinary_ fears and if he shared them with anyone outside the pack they’d either laugh in his face or have him locked up but still. _Justified_.

He _knows_ this one’s completely unfounded and ridiculous but seriously, with all the fucked up shit they’ve seen is really that big a leap? Shit now he’s freaking out about mind readers. What if someone overheard him thinking about Derek’s abbs? He’ll never live it down, never be able to look Derek in eye again. Or Scott, for that matter, considering how close he and Derek are now. It’ll be like if he had sexy thoughts about his best friend’s brother. O god. He’s gonna have to move to Siberia to escape the humiliation.

If you can hear me, he thinks as loud as he can, cough now. He knows he’s being stupid but he does it anyway.

There’s a cough, loud and pointed. And then...

**Last week’s witch problem did have some unforeseen consequences**. Stiles hears it in his head but it’s not his voice, it's _Derek’s_.

Stiles jerks up, ramrod straight, eyes wide and snaps his head around. He thinks he gives himself whiplash but he hasn’t got time to worry about it because Derek’s looking straight at him with one of his overly large eyebrows raised and... he looks _smug_ , the fucker.

Stiles glares at him and pokes finger at him. “How long were you gonna wait to tell us about this then, you little shit?”

The rest of the pack look up at that, glancing between Derek and Stiles looking confused but Stiles isn’t gonna explain right now, he’s got glaring to do.

Derek’s laughing and Lydia’s even paused the movie to listen in. She raises an eyebrow in question at Boyd but he just shrugs while Jackson rolls his eyes. Even Allison and Scott are paying attention now.

“You were never going to say anything, were you? You were just gonna wait ‘til it wore off.”

Derek grins, wide and full of teeth. Stiles makes a screaming noise inside his head to drown out what that sight makes him think, no need to dig himself an even _bigger_ hole.

“I overheard some interesting things,” Derek says and he looks so smug Stiles wants to punch him or... nope not going there. “Thought it might come in handy, you never know when you’ll need blackmail material.” Derek winks. He fucking winks like the absolute shit he is.

“You’ve been using it for evil. _You’re_ _evil_!” Stiles yells, he's on his feet now and jabbing his finger at Derek. “I cannot believe you, you absolute _shit_.”

“Yes, you’ve called me that numerous times now,” Derek says and if it’s even possible, he looks even more smug. O god, Stiles wants to just _die_.

“Dude,” Scott says, grabbing his shoulder. “What are you going on about, what’s Derek done?”

Stiles finally shifts his glare from Derek. “The douche’s been listening to our thoughts for almost a week now.”

Scott looks confused. “You didn’t know about the spell?” He turns to Derek and narrows his eyes, his voice is more accusatory this time. “You didn’t tell him.”

Derek shrugs at Scott and says “it didn’t seem that important.” Dick, Stiles thinks. Then Derek grins at him, all shit-eating and punch worthy so Stiles says it again out loud.

Stiles can’t take anymore. If the floor could just open up and swallow him now that’d be great. Derek's smirking again.

Because _useful_ supernatural phenomena never actually happen he does the next best thing and turns to the door. “If no one minds,” he calls over his shoulder, “I’m just going to go drown my embarrassment in curly fries. Call me only if there’s a crisis.” He slams the door to the sound of his friends laughing him out, the traitors.

It’s just as he’s tumbling into his jeep to finally escape this hole of mortification when he hears it. He chokes on his own spit but a grin spreads over his face all the same.

**By the way, I think your abbs are pretty neat too.**

* * *

 

Hope you enjoyed that silly little thing, thanks for reading :)

I have a tumblr, come visist me! (it's just me reblogging shit but hey it's generally cool shit)  
<http://im-a-weredonkey.tumblr.com/>  



End file.
